Wednesday, 7 October 2009

8th October

This time 2 years ago I was excited about the next day. It was our 20 week scan with Sam. I couldn't wait to find out whether we were having a boy or girl, but hoped secretly for a boy. I was so naive. It never crossed my mind there could be something so wrong. On the 8th of October 07, we found out we were having a boy. But that his chances of surviving were less than 50%. we named him Sam which means 'against the odds' and 'God has heard'. We drove away from the hospital and Leona lewis' new release 'bleeding love' played on the car radio. Sam's song. We had it at his funeral.
On the 9th of October we were at the john radcliffe hospital for the first time. The first of many! On this day we were told Sam's chance of survival was about 30%. I had an amniocentesis .
Sam's chances went down to 5% later. We fought. He fought. For 16 hours. My lil soldier. I miss him every second of the day :0(

On the 8th October 08, we found ourselves at the all too familiar Oxford hospital. Our baby girl, who just weeks before had been discharged from this hospital with an all clear had been referred back here because of enlarged ventricles. Another amniocentesis.

This year, we have declined the john radcliffe's invitation for the 8th and 9th of October. This was when they were going to admit her for the biopsies. Spooky hey?

Well, get this... Max who plays football all over the country now... Has an away match this weekend. Any guesses where? Oxford! Of course :0$

Hope's ear infection seems to have cleared up. We have been blessed with a few days of bliss. A happy, smiley noisy beautiful alert little girl. Today hasn't been as good. Hope hasn't been as happy and has had some nasty seizures. One so bad, packed her bag for the hospital, whilst considering dialling for an ambulance. After 45 minutes it passed. But she's had some more nasty ones so I've upped her meds this evening. She's now on 100mg per day of vigabatrin.

Tomorrow we have a busy one! That's an understatement! We are watching Max's assembly at 9, a check up on Hope's ear at 10. KoalAs at 12-2:30. Max has training from 4:30-7:30. Hopefully I won't get a chance to think too much about the 8th October. Hopefully we will avoid the john Radcliffe. Well, all hospitals for that matter.

So, that's 2 years of our run of not such good luck. Hopefully things will start working out for us?



  1. Thinking about you today Caroline,so very hard for you. sending much love Debbiexxxxxx

  2. I too am thinking of you, Hope, Sam and all your lovely family today.
    Wishing Honkie a speedy recovery back to her sunny self.

    Lots of love and hugs to you all - but especially to you Caroline.

    Rachel XXXX