A story of, for and about Hope. Our princess Honkey Plonk- Hope Olivia. One very special lil lady, who brings so much joy!
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
Bear with me
This is completely irrelevant, but when writing the title, I was uncertain as to which bear/bare to use, though I was leaning towards the latter, thinking that the first was furry and brown. However, a quick google revealed that I'm not alone in my pondering, but if I'd have written 'bare with me', I'd infact be inviting you all to get naked with me. Lol. English lesson over :0/
So incase you hadn't noticed, we've been experiencing problems here on the blog. I've been inundated with messages telling me that Hope's blog had been taken over by some kind of pop up virus. This news first arrived on Mother's day, and I was perhaps unrationally upset, but the blog was the straw that broke the camel's back, and mother's day is always a pretty hard day for me, as I know it is for all of my friends who have a child in heaven. I never imagined that the blog wouldn't be safe, and was gutted to think that this part of Hope's history could be lost. Fortunately, it's still here, and thank you to everyone that clicked 'report abuse'. It seems to have worked.
I've been a bit slack with the blogging, that along with the fact it's been 'down', has left me rather behind. So, I'm gonna try and blog at least once a day in order to catch up
To say that Hope was a much wanted baby would be an understatement. Longed for, dreamed of and needed would be closer to the truth. Her big brother Sam died on Christmas day 07, leaving her Mummy, Daddy, big sister- Jordan, and big brother Max sad beyond words. Four months after lil Sam's death, and we were blessed with another pregnancy. Surely everything would be ok this time around? Sam had died of a diapramatic hernia, so knowing the increased odds of having another baby with CDH, we waited before breaking the news to Jordan and Max. At 13 weeks gestation, we were given the all clear and told the baby was a boy. So why was I dreaming about a little girl called Hope? We broke the news to an excited Jordan and Max. This is when the growing fetus was named 'Honk' (will explain this at some point). After 2 weeks of delight our bubble was burst. There was something wrong. Here began our rollercoaster. Baby Hope was diagnosed prenatally with cerebellum hypoplasia and ventriculomegaly. We were advised to...I can't even type it, but obviously we didn't. Fot the first 3 months Hope appeared to be 'normal' - against the odds, but as time went on, it is becoming clear that all may not be as well as it could be. Hope is now globally delayed, and has recently been diagnosed with epilepsy. Did we ask for a special child? No, but we have been blessed with one. Would we turn back time? No. Hope has bought light where there was dark; smiles where there were tears. I'm sure we will learn more from her than we will ever teach her. Who knows what the future holds for Hope. But I swear, I will always do the best by her and she will know love! Update: Hope has recently been diagnosed with a mitochondrial disorder (high lactic acidosis). Due to the fact that any findings will not provide cures or even treatments we have declined further investigations (skin and muscle biopsies seem too much ).
I am happily married to Chris. I am Mummy to 4 beautiful children, but my beautiful 3rd baby is in heaven.
I am in my 5th year of a BA degree in Childhood and youth Studies. I enjoy my children, reading, studying, blogging, facebook, my friends, and if i get a spare moment, my newest hobby is knitting pretty little things for my smallest princess.