Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Nasty lumbar puncture

Coming second only to the day that Sam died, and then watching his tiny coffin lowered into the earth, today was the most painful of days. Watching my baby in absolute agony was painful beyond words :0(

The day got off to a sad start when a newborn baby boy in his pram came to the waiting room wearing exactly the same blue and White striped hoody jacket that Sam wore to heaven. Mum recognised it straight away too.

Chris couldn't make it today. He had to leave work unplanned yesterday, and his work are... Well, I think they're beyond being sympathetic.
Auntie Mary (Hope's god mother) usually comes along to the appointments, but her lil Jamie has croup, so we're keeping a safe distance for a few days. Realising that today wasn't one of the appointments I felt I could do alone, I called my mummy. Thanks to an understanding work collegue, she managed to get out of het shift and come along. Though bless her, she cried.

I hadn't realised I wouldn't be welcomed to be present for the procedure. I was warned that it wasn't a nice thing to witness, but understanding my need to be there, the doctor agreed, that providing I stand back, don't faint, nor touch anything, I could stay.

I can't say I wish I didn't, but it was horrendous :0( Hope fought and screamed an angry cry as they positioned her for it; curved her spine and held her head down. That was bad enough, but the worse was once they were drawing the spinal fluid. I've never heard her cry like that before. It was the saddest cry ever. Like she'd given up :0(

Oh, and more bloods!

That done, Hope had to stay for a couple of hours just to make sure she was ok.
So that was another exhausting day spent at the hospital. We are there for the 3rd day in a row tomorrow to see the dietician!

Auntie Mary called when we were on our way home to say she'd been thinking of Hope all day and bought her a lil something. I imagined a teddy or something. To my amazement the crazy woman bought Hope her second diamond! The first can be seen in the top right hand corner of this blog, in the silver 'hope' bangle bought for her christening. Today's diamond is in a beautiful silver cross on a teeny chain. I know you'll read this, so again thank you sooooo much. It was completely unnecessary as you know, but hope really is so lucky to have you. As am I !!!

The nurse and doctor said that Hope's back will be sore, and she'll likely have a headache. I've kept her dosed up on calpol, but I'm pleased to say she seems her usual gorgeous self. Right now, she's hanging out with her daddy, but for extra comfort is laid on him on a big feather pillow :0)

Oh oh oh, we've had some good news...
Max was yesterday offered a years contract to play for Swindon Town! being cool, he's 'thinking about it'. But of course, he'll sign! Seems like we really do have a football star in the making. Man U here we come lol.

To everyone who sent messages today; I passed on each message, kiss and hug (gentle hugs mind) onto Hope. Thank you all for rooting for us.



  1. A girl can never have enough diamonds ;)
    Only the best for princess Honk :)
    Crazy auntie Mary does have a ring to it you gotta admit, mmmm think i like it lol!! xxx

  2. That poor baby! I can just imagine her pain and yours too as you had to watch them do that to her. Seems like something so excruciating, they could have given her something to relax her. My thoughts are with you and Hope as she goes thru all of these tests. Sending get well wishes from Texas! Jennifer

  3. I just noticed your age counter at the bottom for Hope. My son Malek was born on Jan 26th. So he and Hope are only 2 days apart. That's cool. Best of luck and prayers going to you always! Jenn

  4. Sending lots of love to you all. Can't imagine how horrible it must have been.
    The worst James had at hospital was a tube forced up his willy while we pinned him down (it hurt him a lot) and then emergency surgery on his bladder - the bit before where they were prodding him whilst he screamed was bad - I made such a fuss that they gave him a little drop of morphine, thank God.
    But this is not comparable to a lumbar puncture on a very young baby. So sorry this happened and I hope it proves conclusive and that there will be no more tests. Am glad to hear that Hope is feeling better - bless her she has such a sunny and lovely nature.
    Lots of love to you all, my heart goes out to you, along with my love and best wishes as always.
    Rachel xxxxxxxx