honkeyplonk: So tired

Saturday, 11 July 2009

So tired

I used to be able to count on 4 hours sleep; from midnight till 4am. Not much, I know, but I'd got used to it, and could function prettty well. But now even that seems to have gone out the window. I seem to be getting an hour or 2 at a time now, and it's just not enough. I feel like a zombie! I don't know whether there's any connection between hope's various issues and lack of sleep- after all, really 4 hours isn't very long.
So that's 5 and a half months now with no more than 4 hours undisturbed sleep. Chris convieniently doesn't even wake up.
Moan over - lol xxx

1 comment:

Jennifer Ortiz13 July 2009 at 14:38
Once we got Jude's seizures controlled he seemed to sleep pretty well. We will go through times when he wakes up through the night, and I feel like a zombie too. I think it's in relation to the brain damage, and seizure activity.
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To say that Hope was a much wanted baby would be an understatement. Longed for, dreamed of and needed would be closer to the truth. Her big brother Sam died on Christmas day 07, leaving her Mummy, Daddy, big sister- Jordan, and big brother Max sad beyond words. Four months after lil Sam's death, and we were blessed with another pregnancy. Surely everything would be ok this time around? Sam had died of a diapramatic hernia, so knowing the increased odds of having another baby with CDH, we waited before breaking the news to Jordan and Max. At 13 weeks gestation, we were given the all clear and told the baby was a boy. So why was I dreaming about a little girl called Hope?
We broke the news to an excited Jordan and Max. This is when the growing fetus was named 'Honk' (will explain this at some point). After 2 weeks of delight our bubble was burst. There was something wrong. Here began our rollercoaster. Baby Hope was diagnosed prenatally with cerebellum hypoplasia and ventriculomegaly. We were advised to...I can't even type it, but obviously we didn't. Fot the first 3 months Hope appeared to be 'normal' - against the odds, but as time went on, it is becoming clear that all may not be as well as it could be. Hope is now globally delayed, and has recently been diagnosed with epilepsy.
Did we ask for a special child? No, but we have been blessed with one. Would we turn back time? No. Hope has bought light where there was dark; smiles where there were tears. I'm sure we will learn more from her than we will ever teach her. Who knows what the future holds for Hope. But I swear, I will always do the best by her and she will know love!

Update: Hope has recently been diagnosed with a mitochondrial disorder (high lactic acidosis). Due to the fact that any findings will not provide cures or even treatments we have declined further investigations (skin and muscle biopsies seem too much ).